Thursday, November 12, 2009

Flies

I think everyone has been aware that the office has a fly problem. This is because everyone is a slob. Banana peels, apple cores, and the occasional cereal bowl are lazily left about with food residue thinly painted on forks, knives, and spoons. Keyboards and mice are usually the first casualties in cleanliness, with micro-crumbs interspersing with dust and grim which, over time, slowly degrades the fine print on the keys. This is followed by computer screens with seemingly impossible mini-stains (how did food get from the desk, to the top left corner of the screen?). It's an unfortunate by-product of eating meals at one's desk. However, when you get liquids involved, uh oh.

It started in the morning, I noticed . . . more flies than usual floating about. I was pretty swamped in the 1st half of the of the day so didn't figure it out until I saw a cup on Jen W's desk. Nervously, I tapped it. Calmly, flies buzzed out. Inside was a petri dish of . . . things. Here's an edited (for brevity and effect) conversation that ensued when Jen W was confronted, conveniently on the other side of the country:

JC: jen
there is a cup on your desk
that has mold
and flies swarming around
JW: oh god. what cup?
JC: the flies are bothering michael
JW: OMG
what the heck is it?!
JC: 'a fly just crawled underneath my computer'
JW: NO
JC: 'there is a layer of skin'
JW: OHH WOW
JC: 'its like a caramel coffee'
JW: are these quotes from michael
JC: yes
JC: 'its like mixing with her saliva and creating new life'
JW: OH MY GOD
JC: hes going to take a picture of it
and blog about how you are contaminating the workplace
JW: NOOOOOO
not the blog!
JC: 'she should be horrified'

Indeed.

MMCY

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Dude-Brah email exchange

Hey man,

So there are a few weekly calls on Wed and Thurs (check my calendar)

Michael

______________________________________

Hey man, I'm sure we can set something up if you're still looking for ones to shadow, what's your schedule like next week?

Michael

______________________________________

Hey man nah I haven't. You think I might be able to shadow some calls w/ you?

Al
______________________________________

Hey dude,

You found anyone for this? Received an email from my manager a few days ago.

Michael