Newest Member of the Pod: Custody Rights go to Jennifer W.

Flies

I think everyone has been aware that the office has a fly problem. This is because everyone is a slob. Banana peels, apple cores, and the occasional cereal bowl are lazily left about with food residue thinly painted on forks, knives, and spoons. Keyboards and mice are usually the first casualties in cleanliness, with micro-crumbs interspersing with dust and grim which, over time, slowly degrades the fine print on the keys. This is followed by computer screens with seemingly impossible mini-stains (how did food get from the desk, to the top left corner of the screen?). It's an unfortunate by-product of eating meals at one's desk. However, when you get liquids involved, uh oh.

It started in the morning, I noticed . . . more flies than usual floating about. I was pretty swamped in the 1st half of the of the day so didn't figure it out until I saw a cup on Jen W's desk. Nervously, I tapped it. Calmly, flies buzzed out. Inside was a petri dish of . . . things. Here's an edited (for brevity and effect) conversation that ensued when Jen W was confronted, conveniently on the other side of the country:

JC: jen

there is a cup on your desk

that has mold

and flies swarming around

JW: oh god. what cup?

JC: the flies are bothering michael

JW: OMG

what the heck is it?!

JC: 'a fly just crawled underneath my computer'

JW: NO

JC: 'there is a layer of skin'

JW: OHH WOW

JC: 'its like a caramel coffee'

JW: are these quotes from michael

JC: yes

JC: 'its like mixing with her saliva and creating new life'

JW: OH MY GOD

JC: hes going to take a picture of it

and blog about how you are contaminating the workplace

JW: NOOOOOO

not the blog!

JC: 'she should be horrified'

Indeed.

MMCY

A Dude-Brah email exchange

Hey man,

So there are a few weekly calls on Wed and Thurs (check my calendar)

Michael

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Hey man, I'm sure we can set something up if you're still looking for ones to shadow, what's your schedule like next week?

Michael

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Hey man nah I haven't. You think I might be able to shadow some calls w/ you?

Al
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Hey dude,

You found anyone for this? Received an email from my manager a few days ago.

Michael